Sasuke's boobies chpt 2
by Pwnnage
Summary: Chpt 2 fools!


**Chapter 2**

Sasuke: Yay chapter 2

Tsunade: K so umm... OH yes your boobs! We're gonna start boob training today!

Sasuke: But i want them removed --

Tsunade: Listen here kiddo, boobs are made out of thousands of little apes, and these little monkeys are attached to your heart because thats what boob monkeys live off of, heart sauce. And if you cut off your boobies, the heart monkeys will hold on to your heart and it'll end up coming off with your boobs.  
ACTUAL SCIENTIFIC EVIDENCE!

Sasuke: So, I cant get my boobs removed because of the boob monkeys?

Tsunade: Precisley

Sasuke: Thats gay man -- so what do I do?

Tsunade: You're gonna learn how to fight with your rack!

Sasuke: But i dont wanna have boobs

Tsunade: STFU! to the Hokage Hideout!

in the hokage room office place

Shizune: TSUNADE-SAMA!

Tsunade: STFU Shizune!

Shizune: Sorry, its just that Shippuuden only lets me say Tsunade-sama, and I kinda dig it

Sasuke: Is anyone straight in this village?

Tsunade: I got something special for you Sasuke!

opens cuboard revealing a glowing bra

Tsunade: I was saving this for Sakura, but as you can see, Mother nature wasn't very kind to her...especially in the chest area

Sasuke: I ain't wearin no BRA!

Tsunade: Wear it or your boob monkeys are gonna get Injured!

Sasuke: SO THATS WHAT A BRA IS FOR!

Tsunade: Duh everyone knows that --

Tsunade: Put it on and meet me outside in five minutes!

30 mins later

Sasuke: These things are really hard to put on... they should have an instruction manual or something

Tsunade: Ok first challange! You have to breast feed all the Academy students in one hour!

Sasuke: WTF? HOW DOES THAT EVEN WORK?

Tsunade: You see, the boob monkeys jump around in the boob, and the sweat from the monkeys is actually the breast mi-

Sasuke: K stfu I get it... How will this help my training...

Tsunade: You need to train your boob monkeys to be STRONG! So they can serve you in battle!

Sasuke: K, how hard can it be?

5 mins into breast feeding session

Konohamaru: OMG DON'T MAKE ME DO IT! I WON'T DO IT!

Sasuke: Next! hurry up people!

Konohamaru: AHHHH! YOU'LL NEVER MAKE ME DRINK THAT! NEVER!

Sasuke: SUCK IT NOW OR IL BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN!

Konohamaru: cries Yes sasuke...

55 mins later

Sasuke: OMG im done! AND MY boobs are SOOO sore! Just in time too!

Tsunade: Good job you boob noob! You and Kabuto+Orochimaru can stay at Kurenai's place, shes a slut so shes never home. Just dont step in any stains or puddles!

Sasuke: K thanks!

Night time

Kabuto: All right everyone get in your jammies!

Orochimaru: I bought the CUTEST outfit today omg! It has rainbows that say "I don't have to be a slut to take it in the butt"

Kabuto: KAWAIII!!

Sasuke: Yah? We'll I breast fed a school full of children!

Kabuto: ...

Sasuke: Don't ask (--)

Orochimaru: K, so Tomorrow Me and Kabuto are going bowling and eating some BBQ, what are you gonna do?

Sasuke: I got more boob training --, we're gonna be in this village for a longgg time.

Kabuto: Oh by the way, why are there pregnancy test things, and used tampons all over the ground?

Sasuke: Kurenai's residence

Orochimaru+Kabuto: OHHHHHHHHHHHH

Orochimaru: K so where were we in truth or dare?

Kabuto: It was time for Sasuke's dare

Orochimaru: I dare Sasuke to stick his snake in my bu-

MORNING

In hokage's office

Tsunade: Welcome back!

Sasuke: Thanks!

Shizune: TSUNADE-SAMA!

Sasuke: Is Shizune broken again?

Tsunade: Ignore her. K today we're gonna have fun!

Sasuke: YAY!

Tsunade: We're gonna go around town and meet with all your old friends! It makes the Boob monkeys happy!

Sasuke: DAMMIT!

Tsunade: Don't forget your sun screen

Shizune: TSUNADE-SAMA!

Tsunade: No, Shizune you can't come

In the field with KIBA HINATA AND SHINO!

Kiba: Im a dawgie Woof!

Tsunade: Hey losers! We're just visiting!

Hinata: Screw off hoe! We're training!

Sasuke: WTF thats not how you usually act...

Shino: It's cuz Naruto's not here...

Hinata: UP YOURS FLY BOY!

Sasuke: I think someone needs a TAMPON

Hinata: And i think someone needs a foot up their as-

Tsunade: OKKK!! It was nice meeting you

Hinata: Now GTFO its starting to smell like skank in here already!

To team GAI

Gai: HELLO THERE TSUNADE AND SASUKE!

Lee: HELLO TSUNADE AND SASUKE!

Sasuke: Omg get off the caps man! It ain't cool anymore!

Neji: They can't help it, its how they are destined to talk...

Tsunade: Wow Neji you're so gay... Anyways what are you guys up to

Gai: WE'RE TRAINING WITH A FULL BUTT LOAD OF YOUTHFUL ENERGY!

Lee: TENTEN IS DOWN THERE WITH HER LAPTOP! SHES LOST HER LIFE TO MSN AND ONLINE GAMING!

Tenten: OMG LV 10! Thats like SO cool! CUZ my name is 10-10!! WHOAAAA!

Neji: Shes become a techno geek. Its so sad...

Tsunade: OKK!! You guys are boring as hell, lets move on Sasuke!

To the BBQ place where team Asuma is

Shikamaru: We'll look who it is... We'll actually I cant tell cuz my eyes are half shut, but by the scent of slut and urine, I can tell its Tsunade and Sasuke!

Asuma: Hello guys!

Tsunade: Why arn't you dead yet... and this is a NO SMOKING restaurant you crack head!

Asuma: It makes me feel things... Things that I've never felt before...

Chouji: muffle muffle muffle

Shikamaru: Get that food out of your mouth you Fat piece of crap

Sasuke: Where's Ino?

Shikamaru: She's outside selling herself

Ino: SELLING MYSELF FOR 20 DOLLARS AND A KEYCHAIN! ANY TAKERS? ANYONE? COMEEE ONNNNNN! I'LL EVEN THROW IN AN STD FREE OF CHARGE!

Sasuke: And to think she used to sell flowers...

Tsunade: Your group sucks balls Asuma. Time to go

Asuma: OOo flashy colors (.)

TEAM KAKASHI

Kakashi: Ok guys never eat yellow snow, thats the lesson for today.

Tsunade: Hey guys! Wats hangin?

Sai: Obviously not narutos ballz!

Sakura: OOOO PWND!

Sai: and obviously not your chest

Naruto: OOOOO UBERPWND!

Sasuke: I hate this team the most. And why did u replace me with a half naked man whore?

Sakura: Because hes a half naked man whore...

Sai: Hey! I'm half naked because I'm trying to tan myself!

Naruto: And hows that working out for you? You Albino queer!

Sai: Oh no you did-unnntt!!

Kakashi: WHOS LEG DO I HAVE TO RIP OFF TO STOP THE ARGUMENT THIS TIME?

Sakura: I'm sorry

Sai: and flat!

Sakura: HULK SMASH! boom

Tsunade: Wow... we have quite a collection of retards in this village... Lets go visit the Sand ninja who is conveniently visiting us.

SAND NIN OMG

Tsunade: HEY SAND LOVERS!

Gaara: Has anyone seen my eyebrows?

Kankuro: hey guyss! My puppets say hi too!

Temari: ALOHA!

Sasuke: You know, its funny how the guys in the family wear make up and the girls don't

Temari: It's cuz i have bigger balls then both of em.

Gaara: OMG TEMARI THATS A FAMILY SECRET!

Kankuro: Who wants to see a puppet show?

Sasuke: No one... Your puppets are almost as ugly as you are.

Kankuro: cries NOW YOU MADE MY MAKEUP DRIP!!

Gaara: I think its time for you to leave Sasuke... My eyeshadow doesn't like you.

Sasuke: Way ahead of you wierdo!

back at the hokage office place thing

Tsunade: That was awful!

Sasuke: My boob monkeys are definitley NOT happy.

Tsunade: Ditto...

Sasuke: BTW is it natural to have golden boobs? Cuz my boobs are turning a golden shade.

Tsunade: WTF? Thats not natural...

Sasuke: WHATS GOING ON!

Tsunade: We'll through my thorough studies in the past, it seems that you have golden boob monkeys! This is often obtained by having your boob monkeys exposed to a vast variety of retarded ppl. Theres a one in a MILLION CHANCE of getting it! You're one lucky man!

Sasuke: Omg...what an awful twist

Tsunade: No you're lucky! Golden boob monkeys are the strongest substance known to man! Even stronger than those Wierd monsters with the tails!

Sasuke: So i got a chest full of kickass?

Tsunade: Exactly! You won't need me anymore, your boob monkeys seem to have develped by themselves already.

Sasuke: Sweet! I guess I'm gonna leave the village tomorrow then!

Tsunade: This time I wont send 5 genin after you. I promise (.)

DOOR CRASHES

Itachi: I have come for you... Sasukeeeee

Tsunade: Dude LEARN HOW TO USE A DOOR KNOB

Kisame: Me and Itachi have come for you Sasukeee

Tsunade: Arn't you popular...

Sasuke: What do u want!

Itachi: Your chest monkies!

Tsunade: OH NO! THEY CANT HAVE IT! IF THEY GET IT, THEN IT WILL DESTROY THE WORLD!

Shizune: TSUNADE-SAMA!

Itachi: Buahahahahah! This is much easier then getting nine 100 foot monsters

Kisame: Word. Now hand over the monkies!

Sasuke: NEVER! Btw how did u know about the golden monkies?

Tsunade: YAH I JUST FOUND OUT 5 MINS AGO!

Itachi: Its about time to tell you about our boss and the undercover spy!

Kisame: It was TENTEN! WITH HER INTERNET SKILLS WE RULE THE WORLD!

Itachi: She's also the leader of Akatsuki

Tenten: BUAHAHAHA I EMAILED THEM!

Sasuke: OMg where were you hiding?

Tenten: Beside Shizune, No one ever pays attention to her

Shizune: TSUNADE SAMMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!

TO BE CONTINUED

NEXT TIME ON THE FINAL CHAPTER

SASUKE AND THE VILLAGE HAVE TO DEFEND AGAINST AN AKATSUKI ATTACK LEAD BY TENTEN TO SAVE THE WORLD FROM A BOOB MONKEY ATTACK!


End file.
